How to get off to the Best Start when Baby arrives

We spend a lot of time during pregnancy thinking about birth - our due date, what type of birth we would like, what it will be like and so on, but we often find ourselves feeling under-prepared for what comes after.

And whilst we often prepare for bringing baby home by setting up a nursery and buying all sorts of 'must have' items for ourselves and them, we are far less likely to invest in education about this postnatal period or really delve into thoughts about what life will really be like.

So, here's some of what I think are the best tips to consider before baby arrives, so you can all get off to the best start.

1. Invest in education

We have months of pregnancy and some months definitely seem longer than others, so this creates a great opportunity to empower yourself with knowledge that will help you prepare.

Antenatal classes are a great start and they usually cover a range of topics that will be relevant to life with a new Baby. But of course we are all different with different plans and concerns, so pregnancy is also a great time to have some personalised education and we can tailor it to anything you like. It might be understanding how breastfeeding works, what is the best way to bottle feed, how to express and store milk or understanding infant biology around sleep and settling. 

You can also learn some new skills, that hopefully you will never need, by doing a first aid course, and there are a few companies around who specialise in 1st aid for parents of children.

2. Don't worry about having to buy everything before baby arrives

You will actually be able to go to the shops and what you think might be good while baby is in utero can be very different to what actually works once they've arrived. It's useful to just get some of the basics and then add to your collection when baby arrives, tailoring your choices to what life looks like with your little one

3. Avoid making commitments

I'd avoid getting family and friends locked in for visits as sometimes this can be really stressful when you're in the newborn haze, trying to establish feeding, dealing with sleep deprivation.

Just saying, 'I'll let you know after they’ve arrived and we've settled in' is enough

When we are pregnant, we can also be tempted to look at those upcoming months of maternity leave as an opportunity to do something. Yes, it is a great opportunity for something - looking after your baby who will need the most full full-time care you can ever imagine! So really think twice about locking yourself into a new project like renovations, study, new pets, no matter how exciting it seems.

4. Be realistic

They call it the 4th trimester because your baby will want to be near you 24/7

You might not be able to drive for a while, so how will that impact you.

Stock the freezer with nutritious ready meals and snacks you can quickly grab, you may lose track of the number of times stuck under a beautiful sleeping baby.

Where will you all sleep? You may have multiple pintrest boards and dreams of creating the most insta-worthy nursery, but will Bub actually spend any time there or are they more likely to sleep in your room?

Lower your domestic standards, then lower them again. You may not be across all the household tasks as well as you did before, but does it really matter? Allow others to help out with this, even though they might not do it the same way you do - it'll allow you to be where it matters most, cuddling your little one (or sleeping!).

And Ladies, let's be real, the accounts of most of the postnatal women on social media are highly edited, so for goodness sake do not compare yourself to them or feel down on yourself for not snapping back into shape. Please just use this time to recover from one of the most significant things your body has done and focus on nourishing your body AND your mind.

5. Consider who your supports will be

They say it takes a village for a reason, it really does! 

If your partner is having time off, how long will that be for and who might be able to step in if needed after that?

Who will be the back-up if you partner is sick or not coping?

Who will be in your health network? Finding a GP to look after you and bub is really important and having an idea of what to do and who to see if problems arise is also a good idea.

6. Clarify your parenting values

This can be really tricky but so worthwhile doing. Our values are not the same as goals and are more like points on a compass or guiding lights rather than boxes we can check off. I'm sure you've already experienced the overwhelming amount of conflicting information and unsolicited opinions, but if you've clarified your values, you will find it easier to filter this information and go with what feels right for you.

Have a think about these questions: What kind of parent do you want to be? What's important to you?

If your baby will have 2 parents, it helps if you are both on the same page, start discussing it now so you can work out any differences before baby arrives.

Whether this is your 1st baby or you had a bit of a rough time with your last baby and want to do things differently this time, I can help.

As a GP, Mother of 4 and NDC accredited practitioner, I bring evidence-based and real life expertise to personalised antenatal education consultations on topics such as:

• Preparing for parenthood
• Optimising your mental health and relationships
• Milk feeding (breast and bottle)
• Healthy sleep 
• Managing crying and fussing

So come and see me and let's get you ready to get off to the best start.